


Temptation

by labct1



Series: Lambski shorts [34]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: Lambski, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-01
Updated: 2012-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-02 20:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/373064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/labct1/pseuds/labct1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam worries about temptation during his promotional tour.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the interview where Adam said he was worried about being tempted while on the road.

Honesty.  It's one of the traits Adam values most in a person, in himself.  Yet, as he and Sauli finish packing his bag for this promo tour, it's something he can't quite accomplish.

How do you tell the man you love you're afraid you might cheat on him?   Although, that's not exactly what's stressing him out.  He's not afraid he'll cheat on Sauli.  He's afraid he'll be _tempted_ to cheat.  

He was happily single for a long time, and took full advantage of that when he was on tour.  The potential for quickies or one-night stands was always high.  Between nights out at gay bars, or cute fans from his shows, there was never a lack of opportunity. 

It's how he met Sauli, after all.

"You okay?" Sauli asks.

It's the perfect opportunity to explain the nerves he's feeling.  They aren't at all tied to his career or this trip, but from the fear he's going to fuck this up and lose something very precious.  Something he never imagined he'd find.  

There's a part of him that doesn't believe he can have it so good. Even after a year and a half of being together, there's this nagging feeling like it's all going to be snatched away. 

"Yeah," he says dismissively because this is not something he can be honest about.

If Sauli ever told him he was feeling what Adam's feeling - well, Adam would freak the fuck out.  He'd probably lose some trust in Sauli because if you love someone you're not supposed to be thinking the things he's thinking.  You shouldn't be afraid some cute boy will send you a smile that will have you thinking about kissing him - or worse.  

It's enough to make him feel sick to his stomach.  

He's never once been tempted by another man since Sauli moved here, but it's a different atmosphere when you're an artist on the road.  People throw themselves at you.  Literally.  Night after night.  It's great when you're single.  But he isn't.  Not anymore.  

He doesn't want to be. 

Adam zips up the suitcase and sets it on the floor, feeling horrible for worrying about how he _might_ react when the situation arises.  And it will happen.  He has no illusion that boys will magically leave him alone now that he's in a relationship.

He finally has everything he's ever wanted, and he doesn't want to do anything that will jeopardize it.  

"My mom will be around to drive you and your sisters anywhere you want to go," he says, if only to fill the silence.

Sauli chuckles. "I know.  You said so a hundred time."

"Oh, right."  He looks around the room, making sure he hasn't forgotten anything.  Avoiding Sauli's eyes.  

"You are distracted."

The downside to living with someone is that they learn to read all your moods.  There's no hiding them no matter how much you try.

"A little," because he can be honest with the answer without expanding.

"It will go well and I will see you in a couple weeks."

Two weeks.  He can handle that, can't he?  Jesus, what the hell is wrong with him?  They've been apart for longer than that and he never had a problem.  

When his mother said he over analyzes everything, she wasn't lying.  He wishes he could turn his mind off and stop worrying about every little thing.

His heavy sigh has Sauli asking the one question he's been dreading.  "What is on your mind?"

He can't avoid it anymore.  The longer he does, the more it's going to eat at him.  If he can't be honest with Sauli, no matter how difficult the subject is, then they'll end up with the kind of relationship where someone asks what's wrong and the other person replies nothing.  Then pretty soon you find yourselves not talking at all.  

He's been there before.  It sucks.  He never wants to end up there with Sauli.  

So he looks into Sauli's eyes and bites the bullet. 

"We need to talk……"


	2. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam confesses his nervousness about becoming tempted by another guy while he's on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few people asked for the conversation following Temptation. Here it is. Enjoy!

__

_"We need to talk"…._

Four ordinary words but when grouped together strike panic into the heart of the person hearing them.

How many times has Sauli heard those words from previous lovers?

They rank right up there with "it's not you, it's me" or the dreaded "we can still be friends". Yeah, just what every dumped person wants to hear.

He vividly remembers the first time Adam said them to him. It was their last night in Paris, after one of the best vacations of his life. He was still riding the high of being with Adam, someone who just seemed to _get_ him. It wasn't only their physical chemistry, it was how they connected emotionally that shook Sauli to his core.

He knew their relationship couldn't go anywhere. Every time one of their phone calls ended, he told himself not to get too excited because it would never work. They really were two ships passing in the night. A chance encounter one night, that turned into a magical few days away a month later. But it couldn't go anywhere. Deep down, he _knew_ that. However, it didn't stop him from dreaming about possibilities and what ifs.

When Adam said those four words their last night in Paris, Sauli figured fantasy time was over. So, he swallowed his disappointment that reality was rearing it's ugly head all too soon, and waited for Adam to put an end to their time together.

Except, Adam didn't say what Sauli was expecting.

Instead he said, "I want to see you again," followed by a "Can you come visit me in LA?"

It took him a minute to make the leap from "see ya later, it's been fun" to "let's do it again", but, damn if that didn't make his entire year.

Over the course of the last few months he's learned that those four dreaded words don't mean the death sentence for their relationship like they did in his previous relationships. They just mean Adam needs his undivided attention to discuss something that's important to him.

Sauli sits down on the bed and leans back on his hands as he watches a nervous Adam fidget with his rings. "What is it?"

"You know this is all new to me, right?"

"This?" Sauli asks because Adam has a habit of thinking everyone knows what he's talking about when nobody has a clue. The man's mind works in mysterious ways sometimes.

"Us. A relationship. Even though we've been together a while, I don't have a lot of experience with them."

"Right. Me too," he assures him. This isn't new territory so he's a little curious where Adam's going with the conversation.

"Well," Adam crosses his arms over his chest, looking like he's ready to do battle, which is a little unnerving. Adam's not a stand-offish type of guy. "The thing is, I'm leaving for a while…"

"Yes," Sauli adds when Adam gets quiet.

"Do you ever find other guys attractive?"

Sauli wants to smile but he doesn't dare. Occasionally, Adam has bouts of insecurity - like he doesn't quite believe anyone can truly love him, warts and all. He hides his smile over the anxiety in his lovers voice, the worry that Sauli's going to find someone else while he's gone.

As if.

"Adam, I only have eyes for you." Perfect line, he thinks. Just the thing to put his boyfriend's mind at ease.

But Adam frowns instead. Just a tiny downward turn of his lips that tells Sauli that isn't what Adam wanted to hear.

"You've never thought another guy was hot? Like, when you go out with your friends, you never look at guys?"

"Adam, what is this about?" He asks seriously as he sits up straight.

"Have you?" Adam presses his question again.

"Occassionally I see guys and think they're attractive. Why?"

Adam swings his arms in the air in frustration then spins to pace the floor in front of the bed. His hand rakes through his hair, sending the layers in every direction imaginable.

Something is really bothering him. It's plain from Adam's body language, his inability to vocalize what's on his mind. Tiny seeds of panic make their way to Sauli's mind.

"Adam, what is it?"

Adam stops cold and stares at him, his face void of expression. Sauli's stomach drops as he looks at his boyfriend, who suddenly looks like a stranger. And, oh shit, he does not want to have this conversation. Every fiber in his body is telling him to get up and leave the room, to avoid hearing whatever it is Adam's going to tell him.

"Look, I'm just going to be blunt. I know it's normal to find other people attractive, but have you ever wished you could hook up with one of them?"

"Whaaaa?" Sauli's jaw drops open in confusion.

"Have you ever wanted to have sex with another guy since you moved here?"

Where the hell did that come from? And the way it was asked, it's like Adam thinks he already knows the answer.

"I've never cheated on you, Adam, if that's what you're wondering. Why would you think that? Unless," Sauli licks his lips and looks anywhere but at Adam because if the answer is yes, he doesn't think he could handle seeing the truth in those eyes.

He feels like throwing up. He should have left. Twenty seconds ago, he should have followed his instincts and walked out because nothing good is going to come from this discussion.

"Are you trying to tell me you've met someone?" He finds the courage to ask.

"What?" Adam's shocked voice has Sauli's head snapping up, and relief pours through his veins.

"I can't believe you asked me that," Adam says defensively. "I'm not talking about either of us cheating."

"You're not? I'm confused." Which is putting it mildly at this point. He wishes this wasn't the one time Adam can't find the words to say what's on his mind because the thoughts flying through Sauli's head are freaking him out.

"I'm scared, okay?" Adam admits.

"That I'm going to sleep around while you're gone?" Sauli asks, hoping to get to the bottom of it, once and for all.

In frustration, Adam nearly shouts, "Not you, me."

All the air seems to leave both their lungs on that admission and the room goes eerily quiet, until Adam seems to realize what he said.

Adam sits down next to Sauli on the bed and tries to grip Sauli's hand but he moves it before Adam can get it. He's not in the mood to be touching the man who's breaking his heart.

"I didn’t mean that like it sounded. Sauli, I've never been in love like this before. I don't want anyone else. I'd never, in a million years cheat on you."

"If I thought that, I wouldn't have moved here."

Why is Adam afraid of cheating on him when he just said he'd never do that? It makes no sense. Sauli feels like this whole conversation is one giant riddle that he can't figure out.

He stands up and walks towards the bureau. He starts re-arranging the pictures on it, just to give him something to do. He looks at the picture of them smiling at the camera. It was taken only last week. They don't look any different. They look as happy as always but maybe he's not seeing things clearly.

"Are you unhappy?"

"God baby. That is not what this is about." Adam sighs heavily. Sauli finds the courage to face him. "I was single for a very long time, and I remember how it was my last tour. Different guy every night. No strings, just sex. Frankly, I'm terrified of meeting some guy that will have me thinking 'I wish I was single' even for a second, because I don't wish that. I've never once wished that since I met you."

Adam sits on the edge of the bed, his voice trembling slightly. His eyes pleading with Sauli to understand. He looks utterly miserable.

"We're together and I love you so fucking much. I shouldn't get tempted, right?" Adam asks, more to himself than to Sauli.

Sauli takes a minute to think about exactly what Adam's trying to say.

"You're afraid you might think about sex with another man?"

Adam gives him a slight nod.

"Adam, there will be some guy, at some point, that will turn your head. Make you wonder what it would be like to be with him." Just saying the words out loud has his stomach churning. "Hell, I know you think about that with half the actors on True Blood."

He smiles but Adam doesn't return it which speaks volumes as to how much this is bothering him.

"It's natural but it doesn't mean you love me any less. What matters is that I trust you to make the right decision when it does happen."

"But I don't want it to happen at all," Adam whines.

And they've finally gotten to what's really bothering Adam.

"We can't control our feelings but we can control our actions," Sauli tells him as he walks towards him, stopping a couple feet away. "Besides, did you hear yourself when I asked you if you met someone? I don't think you have to worry about it."

Adam smiles a little. "You're right. I know you're right. I was just working myself up about it."

Like always Sauli wants to add but keeps his mouth shut instead. He sits on Adam's lap and wraps his arms around his neck.

"Are we good? You would tell me if you weren't happy, right?" He has to ask. Just to be sure.

"We're better than good. We're fantastic. I got myself all stressed out over nothing."

Adam's words and the way he's holding Sauli so tightly tell him everything really is okay and this whole episode was a case of Adam being Adam.

"I think you should know that I would find him and feed his body to the sharks."

That comment has the desired effect of making Adam giggle, if only a little before he gets serious again.

"I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I just knew I'd feel better if I talked to you. It's been bothering me for a few days."

"Do not ever feel like you can't talk to me. Even if it might be uncomfortable, it's better if we can be open with each other. Otherwise I'll be thinking bad thoughts which will make it all worse."

"I know. I do know." They share a hug, while Sauli's heart rate returns to a normal pace. "Love you, baby."

"Love you too."

As they kiss, Sauli's reminded why they fit so well together.

They can talk to each other about anything. Literally.

His parents always told him communication was the key to making any relationship work. It took twenty-seven years, but he's beginning to think they were right.


End file.
